Aside

More Things I Learned at the Press:

Thanks to my internship, I learned:

—The Gregorian Calendar, not carbon dioxide, is responsible for global warming.
I can’t make this stuff up.

—The most accurate calendar is the 360-day Prophetic calendar, based on the Bible.
Note: the Bible never mentions 360-day calendars.  Ever.

—People who are 30 or 40 years old shouldn’t be talking to our kids.
You know, like their parents.

—Drugs, entertainment, and athletics are the three things destroying the youth of America.
Obesity and boredom are just fine, though.

—The Press will almost let you get away with using the French revolutionary date on rejection letters.
I still say 30 Pluviôse CCXX would be the second most awesome date I’ve ever seen on a letter.

—The Bigbossman gets much stranger inquiries than Bossman does.
I think it’s because Bossman only sees stuff from people smart enough to know what “Acquisitions Editor” means.

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